I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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