You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
