So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
