i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
