I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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