Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize