How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sorry about my life...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
