did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
