people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
