I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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