dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think people are normalizing furries
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