And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
