woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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