Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
time to smoke my breakfast
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
