i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
