so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
