; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
