I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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