I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
