i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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