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• (509): View more from Washington

  ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers

  (725): View more from

  Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Pro: there’s always strippers at our house

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