I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
