will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
