I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
