Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
