Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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