either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
