We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
