I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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