Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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