You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
