hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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