Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
