Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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