i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize