The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
