Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
