dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
