i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
