drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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