he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
