Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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