oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
