I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
