I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
