That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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