You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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