when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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