I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
