brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
