if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
