Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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