Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
