so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
