I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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