There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
