problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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